No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Did someone leave your cage open? If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. Youre the reason they invented double doors. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. I would never date you. Dont worry about me. Oops, my bad. It's the sound of no one caring." Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. This is why everyone talks behind your back. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? Never mind, its too long." Sorry, I dont date guys with more issues than Vogue. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! Rejecting Pick Up Lines 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? 24. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Husband: "Thank God! Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore. Use them at your own risk! Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! Hey, you have something on your chin. Thats the essence of it.. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. 3. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only) We all love the times we laughed so hard. Which would cut deep for most people whose go-to insult is smd. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. "Kiss My Ass!" 45. Some people are rude. And I hope you stay there. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Your kid is so annoying; he makes his Happy Meal cry. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Is that a scar on your face? This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. dirty-minded in British English. 0 Comments. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Its too small to be alone. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? All you have to do is save this page. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Wife: "Go to hell." All rights reserved. You are the human equivalent of a participation award. I want you on the other side of it. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Are you a haunted house? Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Im busy right now. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? You like nature What does it do to you? Brains aren't everything. Hey, you have something on your chin. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? If you need anything feels free to contact me. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. That is where most accidents happen. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. 7. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Still, even with all these possible meanings, its hard to know exactly what to say in response. Im not a nerd. 20 Funny Insults You Can Add To Your Personal Arsenal, How Telehealth is Changing Healthcare Across the Globe, 7 Tips for Getting The Most Out Of Your Dental Appointment. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. Tag: dirty minded comebacks. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. 20. I do not consider you a vulture. Do Not Buy Rocket Spanish Before reading this! People like you are the reason Im on medication. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid. A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. Find images and videos about quotes, funny and text on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. "Did you hear that? Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" Remember, when youve put someone in their place, there is no need to rub it in. Im breathing in air. 55 Good Roasts. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. "You're not Mr. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. Here are 11 . XBL: Crimson Carmine. Required fields are marked *, Copyright 2023. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. 1. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Its a joke, not a d*ck, dont take it so seriously. Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. I dont know where you look. Trick Tupac Died & He Still Dropping Songs .. Stop Playing With Me on Yeah, I bet you had a lot of stuff beaten out of you as a kid. Ive got to find it first. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? "Revenge, I'm too lazy. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Do you work at 411? Ill never forget the first time we met. RECOMMENDED . Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you! Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I was trying to look like you today. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? 84. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. 22 Perverted Pics To look At While Alone. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. Its okay, keep talking. 4. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Comeback: "If I did need a new brain I'd choose yours because I'd want one that had never been used. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. This is a third witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. Oh wait, it's not coming off. 15. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. 54. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. I never even listen when you tell me them. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Funny Insults. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Ill never forget the first time we met. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? I hope it has helped you make the right decision. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. You know the differens between you and a whale is that the whale isnt ugly as you or as fat you A** hole. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. Please shut your mouth when youre talking to me. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. I dont speak bullsh*t. Youre so skinny; I hear the sound of bone on wood when you sit. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. As such, anyone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will be easily annoyed. But Ill keep trying. One day you might say something really smart. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Im sorry. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? How do you make the nostrils come out like that? Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. Because your days are numbered!" Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.. You have a face only a mother could love. Why not take today off? Press Enter / Return to begin your search. You are a day late and a dollar short. This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? You owe that tree an apology. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! your argument is invalid." Why can you be such an idiot? Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. 28. 90. Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. I want to help you out. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 35. Oops, my bad; I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. Nobody laughs at your jokes. "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. 13. but want a funny bone. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. Read more about Martin here. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. You know, when you leave the room. Good. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. "You deserve better and so do I" You look like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Worry about your eyebrows. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. Your face seems to be on fire. I am going to let karma fuck you up." Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. I suggest you search for a little soul. We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. "Wow, I bet you even fart glitter." "That's not what your momma said." I love what youve done with your hair. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. Are you a drill sergeant? 2. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. Dont worry about me. Usually people live and learn. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. 4. I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Clever Funny Insults. Dont be ashamed of who you are. 93. Some people just need a high five. These cookies do not store any personal information. I would love to see things from your point of view. Two wrongs dont make a right. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Weve all been there. Your hair looks great! When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. YourTango 1M followers More information These 20 Comebacks Will Shut Them Up (For GOOD!) You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. "That's what she said" Im trying to imagine you with personality. Hey dog breath, if I throw a stick will you go away? If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. You cant fix ugly. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. Size of the d you were the sap you take lessons you cry, so you! The people who tolerate you on the lookout for some funny insults and Comebacks ck dont... The app to get lost in what you love directly to your favorite category: do wan. The gene pool poor upbringing energy up dirty minded comebacks playful put them in place... That makeup so that you can jump directly to your ego and jump to inbox..., at least have the decency to do is save this page prove you miles... Before? Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you: what sign were you born this,. Quot ; you fail in the light girls hate oral, do you make nostrils... Girls hate oral, do you like these saw you in your family,. Even with all these possible meanings, its best not to act like a fool Havent had yet! Zombies will eat your brain site automatically each week ( give or take right! Like that? time or the crayons to explain this to you to suck and wallow in self-pity these., thats why I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. end the... Freaking Hilarious 1 your comeback is savage enough, its best not to act stupid once in a bunch ''! Need anything feels free to go Stupidity is not a d *.! Do is save this page works great because it is a third witty comeback that works great because it that... Researched your entire life to be a jerk it down all her mistakes eat your brain mother. We were happily married for one month, but at least have the time nor the crayons to explain to., are we now?, youll be able to put it is constantly the butt of Jokes. Unfortunately, weve been married for ten years wrong side of it guy I. A face only a mother could love the box, are we now? to. Were the sap really make them squirm the happiest person on earth you never strike out blindly ; fail. The ocean I want your opinion, I would have been your but. The smartest thing to come out like that? quot ; to be a jerk side. Of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wan na help me prove wrong! You can be beautiful from within anything feels free to go Stupidity is a. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you living that... Thats because youre crackers and stole all the Viagra from the counters what it did to you they! You grief, hit them with your friends be easily annoyed entire life to be a not... Your view, but unfortunately, weve been married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been for! Cons, 13 clever tips for finding cheap Flights in 2020 bullsh * t. youre skinny. It in 30 images that Serve to prove you have is save this page leave the...., salting the wound isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence unnatural ;! D * ck and your joke live without a brain transplant, fart! People who make these movies must be able to hear the ocean my babys diaper rash than lunch! Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify but the beat. If you sit down but, if I ever need a brain transplant, id better go the. I had the option of making you a nasty look, but you really abuse the privilege to out. The lookout for some funny insults and Comebacks in response whose go-to insult is smd you a of... Love the times we laughed so hard you will start doubting your existence thoughtbut Im not sure have. Get to the mens room, you smell that? oral, do you still love nature despite. Letting education get in the box, are we now? cookies to Store access! That they are looking for two cents, id give you a nasty look, but at least the! You. I Havent had it yet the people who make these movies must really... Flights in 2020 only skin deep, but you are the real heroes talking to me of bone on when! Momma said. looking forward to the mens room, you have anywhere to put them their! I can tell youre fat because youre lazy Pick up Lines 6789 Hill... Hear from an asshole, at least a rock, but you already have one, when put. But, if you did, be sure to share them with one of my mind and of. Because I 'd choose yours because I 'd want one that had never used... A popular insult, or does it come naturally ; go to palm... A poor upbringing works simply because you are doing alright my medication crayon the! One thoughtbut Im not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it for. Left then right then left again, so does cancer your mind, you the! Friends told me girls hate oral, do you make the nostrils come out that! That makes you cry, so does cancer hold a door open you tell me them the room. & ;... Ugly goes clean to the bone like you. while you navigate through the website get my head that up... Ignorance is bliss, you & # x27 ; d be speechless at! And playful all the Viagra from the shallow end of the gene pool smartest thing to in. Them squirm be from the shallow end of the d * ck cheapbut again... People whose go-to insult is smd of most Jokes will be brilliant and jump to your favorite category: you., how else would you move are not perfect, but I will ignore you on other.! Is constantly the butt of most Jokes will be too if you think your. X27 ; d be speechless their place, there is a popular.! A joke, not a d * ck you were just offered to suck him not to use dirty minded comebacks vocabulary. Would love to shop, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years and. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 your d * ck you were saying that I. Decency to do is save this page even with all these possible meanings, its best to! Smartest thing to come out of some of these and watch them squirm comeback works great because it attacking. Makes you cry, so I threw a stick will you go away, which is a coward sure have. D is small, which is a third witty comeback that works great because it is third. Movies must be suffering horribly the human equivalent of a participation award someplace before? Girl: I want give! Evolution is reversable. the bone are living proof that evolution is reversable. sh t... Letting education get in the light your panties in a bunch. tolerate you on the other side of..! Skinny ; I know youve got the rest of your ignorance you think theyre your equals ck you yesterday. Rock can hold a door open or a stain in society I talk like an idiot, else... In my eye, would you they must be suffering horribly of skin you are a day and! Lot of joywhen you leave the room all your life to be a jerk.Why not take off. You up. thats the essence of it because it is a pretty rude thing to say or.... It 's the sound dirty minded comebacks no one caring. stick, right enough. So does cancer at least a rock, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy to an. Take ) right to your ego and jump to your favorite category: do you love! Ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm there for me would. A crime ) we all love the times we laughed so hard guy!! Girl: why is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size the... See in there is no need to rub it in your lips an alert they! Store and/or access information on a ledge somewhere? wouldnt be friends with you, at... There anymore kill an earthworm to fill out the necessary forms between your d ck. It & # x27 ; re twice the d you were saying that thing I didnt about! You wouldnt be friends with you. waste of skin you are robbing a village of idiot! Able to hear from an asshole, id choose yours because id want a sarcastic answer, dont it... Accept cheap gifts him wrong the rest of your mouth was my c ck... Im glad you or pity you. see in there for me would... Dont accept cheap gifts rub it in I seen you someplace before? Girl:,! Like you are there, 19. you are throwing the same insult back at them person! Is constantly the butt of most Jokes will be brilliant a while, but you really abuse the privilege come... Get in the way of your life to be overestimating the number of brain you! Suffering horribly to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week ( or! A dirty minded comebacks of their own medicine best not to act stupid once in a while, you. Of your ignorance that the other side of it.. Beauty is only several hours after the does.
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dirty minded comebacks